Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
this will be a night to untag.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
