dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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