He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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