You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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