PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
