I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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