Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
