The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
wow bdsm is so cute
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