Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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