those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
