Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
two words...techno handjob
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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