he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There r osticjed everywhere
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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