If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
