Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
