I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
