So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
