I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
