Will you blow on my dice?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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