is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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