i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
