She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
