Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
