Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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