I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
