remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
