Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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