In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
