nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize