My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Found the puke drawer
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
