He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
