end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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