i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
