Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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