Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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