I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
