So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
