it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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