lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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