I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Randomize
