and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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