The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
