It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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