Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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