You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
