The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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