his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
