I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
