Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
