still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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