you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
