Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
