Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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