You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
