he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Operation Purity has been aborted
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
