i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Randomize
