Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize