it hurts more in the daytime
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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